A Few Cannabis Jokes

Every weed lover can appreciate a good joke. Cannabis allows us to relax and not take the world so seriously all the time. Here are a few jokes that I have picked up over time from various friends, coworkers, and of course, the internet. I can’t take credit for any of these jokes. They are just a few of my favorites that I have heard. Enjoy!


Q:  Why is a roach clip called a roach clip?

A:  Because “pot holder” was already taken!


Q: What do you call it when you drop your joint and it burns your shirt?

A:  Pot Hole


Q: What’s the difference between politicians and stoners?

A: Politicians don’t inhale…. They just suck!


Q: Why did the pothead cross the street?

A: Because his dealer lives on the other side!


Q: How do fish like to get high?

A: They smoke sea weed!


Q: How do sharks like to get high?

A: They smoke coral reefer!


And last but certainly not least:

A stoner walks into a department store and asks,  “How much for the TV in the window?”

The shop keep replies,  “Sorry, I don’t serve stoners.”

The Stoner comes back the next day and says he quit smoking weed then asks the same question and the shopkeeper tells him again they don’t serve stoners.

So he comes back a third day and says “I really have quit smoking. How much for the TV?”

The shop keep again says “We don’t serve stoners.”

“Man, how do you know I’m a stoner?” the stoner asks.

The shop keep says, “Because its a fucking microwave!!!”